Get the grill on screaming hot and stick a baking tray under it to get nuclear. Stab the potatoes all over, pop in a bowl and cover with clingfilm. Microwave for 14 minutes.
Get a pan on to quite a high heat, chuck in the mince along with a dash of olive oil and seasoning. Fry and stir, browning all over. Meanwhile get some bacon frying gently in another pan.
When the mince has browned, coat with the Worcestershire sauce and add the garlic, thyme and half the rosemary. Whack the onion, celery and carrot into a food processor and get them sliced up, then add those to the beef too.
When the bacon is golden add the beans and tomatoes to that pan and simmer away.
The potatoes are probably done now; prod with a knife to check they're soft in the middle. If they are, slather with olive oil, the rest of the rosemary and some salt and pepper. Toss to coat then pop under the grill to crisp up.
Turn to the salad now: whizz up half the avocado with half the sour cream, lemon juice and a little seasoning to make a lurid green dressing. Chop up the other half of the avocado and mix with the lettuces.
The beef should be done by now, all crispy and craggy. Add most of the parsley and check for seasoning. Check the beans for seasoning - dash of vinegar perhaps? Rescue the potatoes, cut them open and dollop over the rest of the sour cream and parsley. Toss the salad with the dressing and serve the lot to hungry, lucky people.